The problem with winter sports is that – follow me closely here – they generally take place in winter. – Dave Barry
The taxpayers cannot be relied upon to support performing arts such as opera. As a taxpayer, I am forced to admit that I would rather undergo a vasectomy via Weed Whacker than attend an opera. – Dave Barry
The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since the invention of call waiting. – Dave Barry
The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious people, and then they come after you with machetes. – Dave Barry
Thats the biggest problem with boxing in the United States. They do not promote it like they used to, when it used to be Howard Cosell and they showed it on Wide World of Sports. Everybody knew all the fighters. Everybody was looking forward to the year when the Olympics came on. – Evander Holyfield