The problem with winter sports is that – follow me closely here – they generally take place in winter. – Dave Barry
Well try to cooperate fully with the IRS, because, as citizens, we feel a strong patriotic duty not to go to jail. – Dave Barry
Mother Nature, in her infinite wisdom, has instilled within each of us a powerful biological instinct to reproduce; this is her way of assuring that the human race, come what may, will never have any disposable income. – Dave Barry
Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet. – Dave Barry