Your modern teenager is not about to listen to advice from an old person, defined as a person who remembers when there was no Velcro. – Dave Barry
The problem with winter sports is that – follow me closely here – they generally take place in winter. – Dave Barry
The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates. – Dave Barry
The taxpayers cannot be relied upon to support performing arts such as opera. As a taxpayer, I am forced to admit that I would rather undergo a vasectomy via Weed Whacker than attend an opera. – Dave Barry
Being a teen can be tough. Just try to surround yourself with really good friends that really have your back, and also be a really good friend to those who really care about you. If youre not sure about certain things, talk to your friends that you trust and your family. – Victoria Justice