Your modern teenager is not about to listen to advice from an old person, defined as a person who remembers when there was no Velcro. – Dave Barry
Crabgrass can grow on bowling balls in airless rooms, and there is no known way to kill it that does not involve nuclear weapons. – Dave Barry
The ultimate camping trip was the Lewis and Clark expedition. – Dave Barry
Never assume that the guy understands that you and he have a relationship. – Dave Barry
I did work at a mall in college – I think retail/customer service is just one of the most hideous jobs in the world. So I always try to be extra nice when I go into a store. But malls are part of our culture, if you watched any teen comedy in the 80s. its clear that malls are where we live! – Jayma Mays