I believe that we parents must encourage our children to become educated, so they can get into a good college that we cannot afford. – Dave Barry
The word user is the word used by the computer professional when they mean idiot. – Dave Barry
Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling. – Dave Barry
The taxpayers cannot be relied upon to support performing arts such as opera. As a taxpayer, I am forced to admit that I would rather undergo a vasectomy via Weed Whacker than attend an opera. – Dave Barry