I believe that we parents must encourage our children to become educated, so they can get into a good college that we cannot afford. – Dave Barry
The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates. – Dave Barry
Your modern teenager is not about to listen to advice from an old person, defined as a person who remembers when there was no Velcro. – Dave Barry
I have always dressed according to certain Basic Guy Fashion Rules, Including: Both of your socks should always be the same color, Or they should at least both be fairly dark. – Dave Barry