The only really good place to buy lumber is at a store where the lumber has already been cut and attached together in the form of furniture, finished and put inside boxes. – Dave Barry
It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another persons plate. – Dave Barry
I have been a gigantic Rolling Stones fan since approximately the Spanish-American War. – Dave Barry
Snowboarding is an activity that is very popular with people who do not feel that regular skiing is lethal enough…. I now realize that the small hills you see on ski slopes are formed around the bodies of forty-seven-year-olds who tried to learn snowboarding. – Dave Barry