The only really good place to buy lumber is at a store where the lumber has already been cut and attached together in the form of furniture, finished and put inside boxes. – Dave Barry
As a child, I was more afraid of tetanus shots than, for example, Dracula. – Dave Barry
Mother Nature, in her infinite wisdom, has instilled within each of us a powerful biological instinct to reproduce; this is her way of assuring that the human race, come what may, will never have any disposable income. – Dave Barry
It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another persons plate. – Dave Barry