The only really good place to buy lumber is at a store where the lumber has already been cut and attached together in the form of furniture, finished and put inside boxes. – Dave Barry
The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl. – Dave Barry
Auto racing is boring except when a car is going at least 172 miles per hour upside down. – Dave Barry
I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they dont even invite me. – Dave Barry