Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice. – Dave Barry
The information encoded in your DNA determines your unique biological characteristics, such as sex, eye color, age and Social Security number. – Dave Barry
In college, Yuppies major in business administration. If to meet certain requirements they have to take a liberal arts course, they take Business Poetry. – Dave Barry
The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads, whereas balding white men look like giant thumbs. – Dave Barry
Nature looks dead in winter because her life is gathered into her heart. She withers the plant down to the root that she may grow it up again fairer and stronger. She calls her family together within her inmost home to prepare them for being scattered abroad upon the face of the earth. – Hugh Macmillan, “Rejuvenescence,” The Ministry of Nature, 1871