The information encoded in your DNA determines your unique biological characteristics, such as sex, eye color, age and Social Security number. – Dave Barry
Your modern teenager is not about to listen to advice from an old person, defined as a person who remembers when there was no Velcro. – Dave Barry
All the shopping malls and restaurants and airports are riddled with low-fidelity loudspeakers, which apparently have developed the ability to reproduce by themselves; these are all connected to a special programming service called Music That Nobody Really Likes, and you cannot get away from it. – Dave Barry
The ultimate camping trip was the Lewis and Clark expedition. – Dave Barry