Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear. – Dave Barry
People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them. – Dave Barry
The Constitution of the United States of America, Article V, Section 1: There shall be a National Anthem containing incomprehensible words and a high note that normal humans cannot hit without risk of hernia. – Dave Barry
Snowboarding is an activity that is very popular with people who do not feel that regular skiing is lethal enough…. I now realize that the small hills you see on ski slopes are formed around the bodies of forty-seven-year-olds who tried to learn snowboarding. – Dave Barry
Its my firm intention to whop cancer into submission and I truly believe Ive given myself the best start possible by radically overhauling my diet and by staying true to my motto, which is: Dont worry, be happy, feel good. The first thing I did when I was diagnosed was to turn vegan. – Larry Hagman