Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear. – Dave Barry
I am not the only person who uses his computer mainly for the purpose of diddling with his computer. – Dave Barry
What, exactly, is the Internet? Basically it is a global network exchanging digitized data in such a way that any computer, anywhere, that is equipped with a device called a “modem” can make a noise like a duck choking on a kazoo. – Dave Barry
Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling. – Dave Barry