Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. – Erma Bombeck
Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence. – Erma Bombeck
Thanks to my mother, not a single cardboard box has found its way back into society. We receive gifts in boxes from stores that went out of business twenty years ago. – Erma Bombeck
Ive exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars. – Erma Bombeck