I named my dog Stay so I can say, “Come here, Stay. Come here, Stay.” – Steven Wright
When I have a kid, I want to put him in one of those strollers for twins, then run around the mall looking frantic. – Steven Wright

I named my dog Stay so I can say, “Come here, Stay. Come here, Stay.” – Steven Wright
When I have a kid, I want to put him in one of those strollers for twins, then run around the mall looking frantic. – Steven Wright
Right now Im having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. – Steven Wright
There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators. – Steven Wright