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Quote by Steven Wright
When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, Did you sleep

When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, Did you sleep good? I said No, I made a few mistakes. – Steven Wright

Other quotes by Steven Wright

I saw a bank that said 24 Hour Banking, but I dont have that much time. – Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
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I went to a restaurant that serves breakfast at any time. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance. – Steven Wright

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Other Quotes from
good
category

In order to acquire a growing and lasting respect in society, it is a good thing, if you possess great talent, to give, early in your youth, a very hard kick to the right shin of the society that you love. After that, be a snob. – Salvador Dali

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good

Only the young die good. – Oliver Herford

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good

When Im good, Im very good. But when Im bad Im better. – Mae West

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good

A bad man is the sort who weeps every time he speaks of a good woman. – H. L. Mencken

Category:
good

Random Quotes

Obama is thoroughly mixed up with all these things hes got. Hes got to solve Libya. Hes got to solve Afghanistan. Hes everywhere. And this nation, I dont know why its not showing the leadership and capacity to attend different issues at the same time. – Vicente Fox

Category:
Leadership

If you say, Im for equal pay, thats a reform. But if you say. Im a feminist, thats a transformation of society. – Gloria Steinem

Category:
Society

I think the state of the NFL has a very positive outlook. – Roger Goodell

Category:
positive

There is an ancient belief that the gods love the obscure and hate the obvious. Without benefit of divinity, modern men of similar persuasion draft provisions of the Internal Revenue Code. Section 341 is their triumph. – Martin D. Ginsburg

Category:
Taxes