How young can you die of old age? – Steven Wright
There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators. – Steven Wright
How young can you die of old age? – Steven Wright
There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators. – Steven Wright
I went to a restaurant that serves breakfast at any time. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance. – Steven Wright
I want to get a tattoo of myself on my entire body, only two inches taller. – Steven Wright
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not; but my faculties are decaying, now, & soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the latter. It is sad to go to pieces like this, but we all have to do it. – Mark Twain [Also, “When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had
Weve been sitting at the compromise table for a long time. Were just waiting for that cold chair to be warmed up by the Republican leadership. They still have time to do the right thing and be responsible. They just seem to be moving further and further away from it. – Debbie Wasserman Schultz