Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit. – George Carlin
Were having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, were having a swan. You get more stuffing. – George Carlin
Some people see the cup as half empty. Some people see the cup as half full. I see the cup as too large. – George Carlin
Im completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death. – George Carlin