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Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American p

Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public. – H. L. Mencken

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Do you want me to apologize after every joke? If it doesnt offend somebody its probably not a joke. Its probably an observation thats not funny. Its gotta offend somebody somewhere. – Jeff Ross

Category:
funny

I havent spoken to my wife in years. I didnt want to interrupt her. – Rodney Dangerfield

Category:
funny

I mean, I talk about being Jewish a lot. Its funny because I do think of myself as Jewish ethnically, but Im not religious at all. I have no religion. – Sarah Silverman

Category:
funny

You have to discover when youre inadequate to be funny and you dont know youre inadequate when youre a kid. – Larry David

Category:
funny

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Hatred is the madness of the heart. – Lord (George Gordon) Byron

Category:
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My fear is that I go up to the girl of my dreams and say Im sorry, but Ive got to say hello to you, and she slides the stool back and gets up and walks away, saying, Not for me, Bub. I dont want anything to do with you. – John Mayer

Category:
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Something goes wrong, I yell at them -Fix it- whether its their fault or not. You can only really yell at the players you trust. – Bill Parcells

Category:
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Corpse pose restores life. Dead parts of your being fall away, the ghosts are released. – Terri Guillemets, 2002

Category:
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