Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? – George Carlin
The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going. – George Carlin
The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but Im just not close enough to get the job done. – George Carlin
What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on? – George Carlin