A Mission Statement is a dense slab of words that a large organization produces when it needs to establish that its workers are not just sitting around downloading Internet porn. – Dave Barry
The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates. – Dave Barry
The only kind of seafood I trust is the fish stick, a totally featureless fish that doesnt have eyeballs or fins. – Dave Barry
Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet. – Dave Barry
The Internet is based on a layered, end-to-end model that allows people at each level of the network to innovate free of any central control. By placing intelligence at the edges rather than control in the middle of the network, the Internet has created a platform for innovation. – Vinton Cerf