A Mission Statement is a dense slab of words that a large organization produces when it needs to establish that its workers are not just sitting around downloading Internet porn. – Dave Barry
Guys are simple… women are not simple and they always assume that men must be just as complicated as they are, only way more mysterious. The whole point is guys are not thinking much. They are just what they appear to be. Tragically. – Dave Barry
The information encoded in your DNA determines your unique biological characteristics, such as sex, eye color, age and Social Security number. – Dave Barry
People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them. – Dave Barry
I worry about my child and the Internet all the time, even though shes too young to have logged on yet. Heres what I worry about. I worry that 10 or 15 years from now, she will come to me and say Daddy, where were you when they took freedom of the press away from the Internet? – Mike Godwin