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Quote by Jeff Ross
Do you want me to apologize after every joke? If it doesnt offend

Do you want me to apologize after every joke? If it doesnt offend somebody its probably not a joke. Its probably an observation thats not funny. Its gotta offend somebody somewhere. – Jeff Ross

Other quotes by Jeff Ross

Ive actually tried to roast somebody that I dont like, and it doesnt go well. Either theyre a bad sport or Im not as funny as I could be. – Jeff Ross

Category:
funny
Author
Jeff Ross
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When I see a good singer, I get teary-eyed. Part of it is jealousy because all comedians are frustrated rock stars. Thats a fact. – Jeff Ross

Category:
Jealousy
Author
Jeff Ross
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Athletes tend to have less of a sense of humor than most people. They are heroes to so many. That might be part of it. – Jeff Ross

Category:
Humor
Author
Jeff Ross
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Other Quotes from
funny
category

Weve got a bunch of new writers now who tell me they grew up watching The Simpsons. Its bizarre, and theyre writing some very funny stuff. – Matt Groening

Category:
funny

I mean its funny, playing music, how of course you want it to do well, you want them to like it, but its not competitive like an election, its the Olympics, its not a Formula 1 race. The Billboard charts are just to show you what people like. – Eddie Van Halen

Category:
funny

The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron. – Phyllis Diller

Category:
funny

My one regret in life is that I am not someone else. – Woody Allen

Category:
funny

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When wealth is lost, nothing is lost when health is lost, something is lost when character is lost, all is lost. – Billy Graham

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The first series I wrote, L.A. Candy, was always meant to be a three-book series, so when I started out it was all outlined that way and by the time I was done with the third book, I had become so involved and the process and the stories, I was a little bit sad to be done. – Lauren Conrad

Category:
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Flatter me, and I may not believe you. Criticize me, and I may not like you. Ignore me, and I may not forgive you. Encourage me, and I will not forget you. Love me and I may be forced to love you. – William Arthur Ward

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Recounting of a life story, a mind thinking aloud leads one inevitably to the consideration of problems which are no longer psychological but spiritual. – Paul Tournier

Category:
Religion