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Quote by Jeff Ross
Do you want me to apologize after every joke? If it doesnt offend

Do you want me to apologize after every joke? If it doesnt offend somebody its probably not a joke. Its probably an observation thats not funny. Its gotta offend somebody somewhere. – Jeff Ross

Other quotes by Jeff Ross

My parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles were all funny, and I felt that energy, that delivery, that timing, that sarcasm. All that stuff seeped into my brain. – Jeff Ross

Category:
funny
Author
Jeff Ross
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When I see a good singer, I get teary-eyed. Part of it is jealousy because all comedians are frustrated rock stars. Thats a fact. – Jeff Ross

Category:
Jealousy
Author
Jeff Ross
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Other Quotes from
funny
category

When you are not treated seriously, you develop comically. Its sense of oneself is so fractured and fragile that its like the picked-on kid who has to become funny. – Scott Thompson

Category:
funny

Weve seen some insane signs: Is that a loaf of bread in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me? Funny stuff along those lines. Very original. One just said, I will do unspeakable things. I thought that was very interesting – and mildly terrifying! – Josh Hutcherson

Category:
funny

Its funny: Im a lifelong musician, but because I principally play the piano its been a solitary thing. – Gary Oldman

Category:
funny

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who would want to live in an institution? – H. L. Mencken

Category:
funny

Random Quotes

Knowledge is not eating, and we cannot expect to devour and possess what we mean. Knowledge is recognition of something absent it is a salutation, not an embrace. – George Santayana

Category:
Knowledge

Weve put more effort into helping folks reach old age than into helping them enjoy it. – Frank A. Clark

Category:
Age

The walls we build around us to keep sadness out also keeps out the joy. – Jim Rohn

Category:
Emotions

I mean, there is amazing amount of oil and gas and other resources out beneath the sea. Its staggering. – Robert Ballard

Category:
amazing