A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. – Emo Philips
How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand. – Emo Philips

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. – Emo Philips
How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand. – Emo Philips
Women: You cant live with them, and you cant get them to dress up in a skimpy little Nazi costume and beat you with a warm squash or something. – Emo Philips
Some mornings, its just not worth chewing through the leather straps. – Emo Philips