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Quote by Demetri Martin
I wrapped my Christmas presents early this year, but I used the wr

I wrapped my Christmas presents early this year, but I used the wrong paper. See, the paper I used said Happy Birthday on it. I didnt want to waste it so I just wrote Jesus on it. – Demetri Martin

Other quotes by Demetri Martin

I used to play sports. Then I realized you can buy trophies. Now I am good at everything. – Demetri Martin

Category:
good
Author
Demetri Martin
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If I have to move up in a building, I choose the elevator over the escalator. Because one time I was riding the escalator and I tripped. I fell down the stairs for an hour and a half. – Demetri Martin

Category:
Time
Author
Demetri Martin
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I think that when you get dressed in the morning, sometimes youre really making a decision about your behavior for the day. Like if you put on flipflops, youre saying: Hope I dont get chased today. Be nice to people in sneakers. – Demetri Martin

Category:
Hope
Author
Demetri Martin
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Other Quotes from
Birthday
category

I tried to bake a cake for my mothers birthday – it took me four hours. It was terrible, and I cried for three days. – Rachael Ray

Category:
Birthday

And for the citys birthday, we will host events in every neighborhood of the city, inviting all of our residents to share in the celebration of Bostons great epic – the story of neighbors who support one another where it matters most. – Thomas Menino

Category:
Birthday

Presents dont really mean much to me. I dont want to sound mawkish, but – it was the realization that I have a great many people in my life who really love me, and who I really love. – Gabriel Byrne

Category:
Birthday

One I built when I was a kid, and it was a real miniature of Disneyland. I fell in love with the park when I went there with my parents on my 12th birthday. – Bobby Sherman

Category:
Birthday

Random Quotes

I have no regrets. I wouldnt have lived my life the way I did if I was going to worry about what people were going to say. – Ingrid Bergman

Category:
Regret & Remorse

So Im a young boy in the 1940s growing up, seeing Ralph Bunche on a regular basis, seeing Duke Ellington on a regular basis. We know that these people are famous. Theyre living in the same community as we live in. They go to the same stores and shops. – Ed Smith

Category:
famous

when god decided to invent everything he took one reath bigger than a circustent and everything began – e. e. (Edward Estlin) cummings

Category:
Creation

Id like to believe that the people that have supported me in my work or identified with me in films, the people that feel they know me, they do and they dont have misconceptions – they understand. I believe that. – Angelina Jolie

Category:
work