Logo
Quote by Demetri Martin
I wrapped my Christmas presents early this year, but I used the wr

I wrapped my Christmas presents early this year, but I used the wrong paper. See, the paper I used said Happy Birthday on it. I didnt want to waste it so I just wrote Jesus on it. – Demetri Martin

Other quotes by Demetri Martin

My favorite fruit is grapes. Because with grapes, you always get another chance. Cause, you know, if you have a crappy apple or a peach, youre stuck with that crappy piece of fruit. But if you have a crappy grape, no problem – just move on to the next. Grapes: The Fruit of Hope. – Demetri Martin

Category:
Hope
Author
Demetri Martin
Read Quote

And my only rule being if when I wake in the morning Im looking forward to the things that I have to do that day, then Im on the right track. – Demetri Martin

Category:
Morning
Author
Demetri Martin
Read Quote

I used to play sports. Then I realized you can buy trophies. Now I am good at everything. – Demetri Martin

Category:
good
Author
Demetri Martin
Read Quote
Other Quotes from
Birthday
category

I get uncomfortable when people give me presents and watch me open them. I dont have birthday parties, because the idea of a group of people singing and looking at me while Im blowing out candles gives me hives. – Brit Marling

Category:
Birthday

Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children. – George Bernard Shaw

Category:
Birthday

On a royal birthday every house must fly a flag, or the owner would be dragged to a police station and be fined twenty-five rubles. – Mary Antin

Category:
Birthday

My happiest memory of childhood was my first birthday in reform school. This teacher took an interest in me. In fact, he gave me the first birthday presents I ever got: a box of Cracker Jacks and a can of ABC shoe polish. – Flip Wilson

Category:
Birthday

Random Quotes

I am still learning. – Michelangelo

Category:
Learning

God, the illogic! The impossibility of communication in this house. The sheer operation alone of getting something through to somebody. – Sylvia Ashton-Warner

Category:
communication

Nothing is as easy to make as a promise this winter to do something next summer; this is how commencement speakers are caught. – Sydney J. Harris

Category:
Promises

Pity is for the living, envy is for the dead. – Mark Twain

Category:
Jealousy