Quote by Demetri Martin
I wrapped my Christmas presents early this year, but I used the wr

I wrapped my Christmas presents early this year, but I used the wrong paper. See, the paper I used said Happy Birthday on it. I didnt want to waste it so I just wrote Jesus on it. – Demetri Martin

Other quotes by Demetri Martin

People and squirrels are very different. Most people will not argue that. But I find that there is one situation in which theyre very similar. And that is: when I am driving towards them in my car. Then theyre kind of hard to tell apart – especially if the human is kind of hairy. – Demetri Martin

Category:
car
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I like to use I Cant Believe its Not Butter on my toast in the morning, because sometimes when I eat breakfast, I like to be incredulous. How was breakfast? Unbelievable. – Demetri Martin

Category:
Food
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Other Quotes from
Birthday
category

With a recent birthday, Ive been acting now for twenty years. – Thayer David

Category:
Birthday

Handmade presents are scary because they reveal that you have too much free time. – Doug Coupland

Category:
Birthday

I used to go down every year for the remembrance of Elvis birthday. Memphis State College invited me to sit in the auditorium and speak to the people for one of those Elvis days. – Otis Blackwell

Category:
Birthday

You know, maybe I was just born in the wrong time, but I love all things romantic. Puffy understands that. For my last birthday, he covered my hotel room floor with rose petals and had flowers and candles all over the room. – Jennifer Lopez

Category:
Birthday

Random Quotes

You cant test courage cautiously. – Annie Dillard

Category:
Courage

I still forgive him, because by doing what he did, he made it famous. – Alberto Korda

Category:
famous

A person must have a certain amount of intelligent ignorance to get anywhere. – Charles Kettering

Category:
Intelligence

My experience is thats rare – that you have a script that is… what they call film-ready. – Laura Linney

Category:
Experience