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Quote by Demetri Martin
I wrapped my Christmas presents early this year, but I used the wr

I wrapped my Christmas presents early this year, but I used the wrong paper. See, the paper I used said Happy Birthday on it. I didnt want to waste it so I just wrote Jesus on it. – Demetri Martin

Other quotes by Demetri Martin

And of course I didnt make any money from stand up for years, so I had temp jobs. That was the way I made money. – Demetri Martin

Category:
Money
Author
Demetri Martin
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Other Quotes from
Birthday
category

Im trying to get the record that I made at my birthday party last year, trying to get that out, and the lawyers are diddling around with it and it probably wont be out until next year. I dont know. – Marian McPartland

Category:
Birthday

I binge when Im happy. When everything is going really well, every day is like Im at a birthday party. – Kirstie Alley

Category:
Birthday

I have had fans make me the big picture collages of the photo books I have had fans send me birthday cakes… sing to me on my voicemail. I have had fans flash me. I have had older fans give me their bras and underwear onstage. – Puff Daddy

Category:
Birthday

I like to go to anybody elses birthday, and if Im invited Im a good guest. But I never celebrate my birthdays. I really dont care. – Mikhail Baryshnikov

Category:
Birthday

Random Quotes

All a manager has to do is keep eleven players happy — the eleven in the reserves. The first team are happy because they are in the first team. – Rodney Marsh, 1979

Category:
Sports

David Lynch and I almost made a movie together in the late 80s. We had lots of dinners and lunches. Hes a very cool, hip guy. This film, lets face it, is like an homage to him, I would imagine hed find it funny. – Martin Short

Category:
cool

All the luminous the coloured spectacles which the world in the immensity of space can offer us, nature has produced in miniature amongst precious stones. – Charles Blanc, Art in Ornament and Dress, 1875, translated from French

Category:
Jewelry

Its not the voting thats democracy its the counting. – Tom Stoppard

Category:
Government