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Quote by Demetri Martin
I wrapped my Christmas presents early this year, but I used the wr

I wrapped my Christmas presents early this year, but I used the wrong paper. See, the paper I used said Happy Birthday on it. I didnt want to waste it so I just wrote Jesus on it. – Demetri Martin

Other quotes by Demetri Martin

If I have to move up in a building, I choose the elevator over the escalator. Because one time I was riding the escalator and I tripped. I fell down the stairs for an hour and a half. – Demetri Martin

Category:
Time
Author
Demetri Martin
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And of course I didnt make any money from stand up for years, so I had temp jobs. That was the way I made money. – Demetri Martin

Category:
Money
Author
Demetri Martin
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And my only rule being if when I wake in the morning Im looking forward to the things that I have to do that day, then Im on the right track. – Demetri Martin

Category:
Morning
Author
Demetri Martin
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Other Quotes from
Birthday
category

If theres one thing I really want for my birthday, that is for the mining company not to mine my daddys reserve. – Bindi Irwin

Category:
Birthday

When someone asks if youd like cake or pie, why not say you want cake and pie? – Lisa Loeb

Category:
Birthday

I grew up doing all that stuff because I was obsessed with the 50s. I had sock hops for birthday parties. So Ive always done The Twist and stuff. It was pretty natural and, with my parents doing it all the time, Id just copy them. Not very pretty. – Brittany Snow

Category:
Birthday

I love having my birthday at Australia Zoo. – Bindi Irwin

Category:
Birthday

Random Quotes

He who fears something gives it power over him. – Moorish Proverb

Category:
Cancer Support

Im home schooled, and I have a teacher that goes with me on all my movies. – Dakota Fanning

Category:
teacher

Let me tell you, it is still morning in America. It just happens to be kind of a head pounding, hung over for four hours in America – and its shaping up to be a nasty day, but its still morning in America. – Glenn Beck

Category:
Morning

We only part to meet again. – John Gay

Category:
Goodbye