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Quote by Demetri Martin
I wrapped my Christmas presents early this year, but I used the wr

I wrapped my Christmas presents early this year, but I used the wrong paper. See, the paper I used said Happy Birthday on it. I didnt want to waste it so I just wrote Jesus on it. – Demetri Martin

Other quotes by Demetri Martin

If I have to move up in a building, I choose the elevator over the escalator. Because one time I was riding the escalator and I tripped. I fell down the stairs for an hour and a half. – Demetri Martin

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Demetri Martin
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Other Quotes from
Birthday
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It was on my fifth birthday that Papa put his hand on my shoulder and said, Remember, my son, if you ever need a helping hand, youll find one at the end of your arm. – Sam Levenson

Category:
Birthday

Im over the moon to be involved in the Doctor Who Christmas special. I cant quite believe it as its a part of the family tradition at the Jenkins household. I heard the news that I got the role on my 30th birthday and it was the best birthday present ever. – Katherine Jenkins

Category:
Birthday

Im a summer baby, so I usually have my birthday as a good summer memory. – Sloane Crosley

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Birthday

The worst part about celebrating another birthday is the shock that youre only as well as you are. – Anne Lamott

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Birthday

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It has been well said that a hungry man is more interested in four sandwiches than four freedoms. – Henry Cabot Lodge, Jr.

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Politics

When I was going on auditions, it was nerve-racking. Id always say to my mom that it would be awesome if I could get a series. When Modern Family came along, I said, You know what, Mom? I believe Im going to get this role. – Rico Rodriguez

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mom

Who could look on these monuments without reflecting on the vanity of mortals in thus offering up testimonials of their respect for persons of whose very names posterity is ignorant? – Marguerite Gardiner

Category:
respect

Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for the truth. – Benjamin Disraeli

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Be Yourself