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Quote by Demetri Martin
I wrapped my Christmas presents early this year, but I used the wr

I wrapped my Christmas presents early this year, but I used the wrong paper. See, the paper I used said Happy Birthday on it. I didnt want to waste it so I just wrote Jesus on it. – Demetri Martin

Other quotes by Demetri Martin

Stand-up is like a row boat: its fun and romantic when youre choosing to do it. But if you have no other choice than to be in a row boat its not as enjoyable thats survival. – Demetri Martin

Category:
Romantic
Author
Demetri Martin
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Other Quotes from
Birthday
category

I sing a little bit. I got a guitar for my 16th birthday. – Jesse Plemons

Category:
Birthday

I want a chainsaw very badly, because I think cutting down a tree would be unbelievably satisfying. I have asked for a chainsaw for my birthday, but I think Ill probably be given jewelry instead. – Susan Orlean

Category:
Birthday

The worst part about celebrating another birthday is the shock that youre only as well as you are. – Anne Lamott

Category:
Birthday

Interventions are really emotionally exhausting and I would never ever want to have one. In the same way, I would never want to have a surprise birthday party. That would be horrible. – Margaret Cho

Category:
Birthday

Random Quotes

I believe the Bible is the word of God from cover to cover. – Billy Sunday

Category:
God

Humility does not mean thinking less of yourself than of other people, nor does it mean having a low opinion of your own gifts. It means freedom from thinking about yourself at all. – William Temple

Category:
Humility

In life, you need a house and a car. After that, you have a choice. – Xavier Niel

Category:
car

The strongest bank in the United States will last only so long as the people will have sufficient confidence in it to keep their money there. – Carter G. Woodson

Category:
Money