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Quote by Demetri Martin
I wrapped my Christmas presents early this year, but I used the wr

I wrapped my Christmas presents early this year, but I used the wrong paper. See, the paper I used said Happy Birthday on it. I didnt want to waste it so I just wrote Jesus on it. – Demetri Martin

Other quotes by Demetri Martin

And my only rule being if when I wake in the morning Im looking forward to the things that I have to do that day, then Im on the right track. – Demetri Martin

Category:
Morning
Author
Demetri Martin
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Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner and a loser at the same time. – Demetri Martin

Category:
Time
Author
Demetri Martin
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Stand-up is like a row boat: its fun and romantic when youre choosing to do it. But if you have no other choice than to be in a row boat its not as enjoyable thats survival. – Demetri Martin

Category:
Romantic
Author
Demetri Martin
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Other Quotes from
Birthday
category

I play PC and Xbox games at home, and I just got a PSP as a birthday present. – Uwe Boll

Category:
Birthday

I was fired at the pinnacle of my career, on my 39th birthday. And in the year that followed, I learned that there are many psychological phases of being let go. – Mika Brzezinski

Category:
Birthday

John Candy knew he was going to die. He told me on his 40th birthday. He said, well, Maureen, Im on borrowed time. – Maureen OHara

Category:
Birthday

Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest. – Larry Lorenzoni

Category:
Birthday

Random Quotes

Your art kind of changes as you get older, by nature of the fact that youre hopefully gaining wisdom and youre starting to watch things with a better overview. – Sheryl Crow

Category:
Wisdom

Basically, women have to prove they are strong at all times. And then when they go on the attack, they have to not appear mean because those women often get the label of being catty. – Julie Nixon Eisenhower

Category:
Women

Ive had a good life. Enough happiness, enough success. – Michael Landon

Category:
Happiness

The believing we do something when we do nothing is the first illusion of tobacco. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Category:
Smoking