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Quote by Demetri Martin
I wrapped my Christmas presents early this year, but I used the wr

I wrapped my Christmas presents early this year, but I used the wrong paper. See, the paper I used said Happy Birthday on it. I didnt want to waste it so I just wrote Jesus on it. – Demetri Martin

Other quotes by Demetri Martin

I like to use I Cant Believe its Not Butter on my toast in the morning, because sometimes when I eat breakfast, I like to be incredulous. How was breakfast? Unbelievable. – Demetri Martin

Category:
Food
Author
Demetri Martin
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The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly. – Demetri Martin

Category:
funny
Author
Demetri Martin
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But I found that disappointing people is a good thing, because disapproval is freedom. – Demetri Martin

Category:
Freedom
Author
Demetri Martin
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Other Quotes from
Birthday
category

Thirty was so strange for me. Ive really had to come to terms with the fact that I am now a walking and talking adult. – C. S. Lewis

Category:
Birthday

I saw Richard Linklaters film Slacker for my twenty-first birthday. That was the moment when it all seemed possible. This guy gave me hope. – Kevin Smith

Category:
Birthday

I grew up doing all that stuff because I was obsessed with the 50s. I had sock hops for birthday parties. So Ive always done The Twist and stuff. It was pretty natural and, with my parents doing it all the time, Id just copy them. Not very pretty. – Brittany Snow

Category:
Birthday

They say that age is all in your mind. The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body. – Author Unknown

Category:
Birthday

Random Quotes

Concentrate on your job and you will forget your other troubles. – William Feather

Category:
work

The only really good place to buy lumber is at a store where the lumber has already been cut and attached together in the form of furniture, finished and put inside boxes. – Dave Barry

Category:
Housework

Acting allows me the freedom to let go, to be in the moment, to be spontaneous. I no longer have the fear of losing, of failure. – Cathy Rigby

Category:
Failure

Money is in some respects lifes fire: it is a very excellent servant, but a terrible master. – P. T. Barnum

Category:
Money