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Quote by Demetri Martin
I wrapped my Christmas presents early this year, but I used the wr

I wrapped my Christmas presents early this year, but I used the wrong paper. See, the paper I used said Happy Birthday on it. I didnt want to waste it so I just wrote Jesus on it. – Demetri Martin

Other quotes by Demetri Martin

People and squirrels are very different. Most people will not argue that. But I find that there is one situation in which theyre very similar. And that is: when I am driving towards them in my car. Then theyre kind of hard to tell apart – especially if the human is kind of hairy. – Demetri Martin

Category:
car
Author
Demetri Martin
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Stand up is really fun because if I think of a joke or a funny idea, then I can just go and tell some people and if they laugh, they laugh right away. – Demetri Martin

Category:
funny
Author
Demetri Martin
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But I found that disappointing people is a good thing, because disapproval is freedom. – Demetri Martin

Category:
Freedom
Author
Demetri Martin
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Other Quotes from
Birthday
category

Well take the cake with the red cherry on top. – Navjot Singh Sidhu

Category:
Birthday

Handmade presents are scary because they reveal that you have too much free time. – Doug Coupland

Category:
Birthday

It is ironic that the one thing that all religions recognize as separating us from our creator, our very self-consciousness, is also the one thing that divides us from our fellow creatures. It was a bitter birthday present from evolution. – Annie Dillard

Category:
Birthday

I did a cake for the 60th birthday of Elton John, for Britney Spears 27th birthday and for the Circus album she put out – the cake had circus themes. I prepared a cake for a surprise 82nd birthday event for the architect Frank Gehry the cake was comprised of mini-replicas of his buildings. – Ron Ben-Israel

Category:
Birthday

Random Quotes

Im projecting somewhere between 100 million and 200 million computers on the Net by the end of December 2000, and about 300 million users by that same time. – Vinton Cerf

Category:
Computers

Im just not one of those naturally funny, relaxed actors who enjoy the spotlight and are so good at it. – Heath Ledger

Category:
funny

Whats happened with society is that we have created these devices, computers, which already can register and process huge amounts of information, which is a significant fraction of the amount of information that human beings themselves, as a species, can process. – Seth Lloyd

Category:
Computers

Learning is not attained by chance. It must be sought for with ardor and attended to with diligence. – Abigail Adams

Category:
Learning