I wrapped my Christmas presents early this year, but I used the wrong paper. See, the paper I used said Happy Birthday on it. I didnt want to waste it so I just wrote Jesus on it. – Demetri Martin
But what I was going to say was, I just figured Im going to go boldly in the direction of my dreams, say it as Thoreau would say, and just see where it takes me. – Demetri Martin
And of course I didnt make any money from stand up for years, so I had temp jobs. That was the way I made money. – Demetri Martin
People and squirrels are very different. Most people will not argue that. But I find that there is one situation in which theyre very similar. And that is: when I am driving towards them in my car. Then theyre kind of hard to tell apart – especially if the human is kind of hairy. – Demetri Martin