Quote by Demetri Martin
I wrapped my Christmas presents early this year, but I used the wr

I wrapped my Christmas presents early this year, but I used the wrong paper. See, the paper I used said Happy Birthday on it. I didnt want to waste it so I just wrote Jesus on it. – Demetri Martin

Other quotes by Demetri Martin

But what I was going to say was, I just figured Im going to go boldly in the direction of my dreams, say it as Thoreau would say, and just see where it takes me. – Demetri Martin

Category:
Dreams
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I like women, but you cant always trust them. Some of them are big liars, like this one woman I met who had a dog. I asked her her dogs name and then I asked, Does he bite? and she said, No. And I said, So how does he eat? Liar! – Demetri Martin

Category:
Trust
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The comedians I liked were Bill Cosby and Steven Wright, like just always as a comedic actor. I always liked Gary Larson, whos really funny for a cartoonist, obviously. – Demetri Martin

Category:
funny
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Other Quotes from
Birthday
category

Just hit my 75th birthday, Im feeling great! – Colin Powell

Category:
Birthday

I quit high school on my birthday. It was my senior year and I didnt see the point. This was 1962, and I was ready to make music. – Barry White

Category:
Birthday

Im trying to get the record that I made at my birthday party last year, trying to get that out, and the lawyers are diddling around with it and it probably wont be out until next year. I dont know. – Marian McPartland

Category:
Birthday

And I was very shy as a kid if you sang me Happy Birthday, I would cry. Quite shy. So the idea of being an actor, much less a model, was just out of this world. – Cody Horn

Category:
Birthday

Random Quotes

War should never be entered upon until every agency of peace has failed. – William McKinley

Category:
Peace

I had a lot of anger inside me and that came out at times that were not particularly advantageous to me career-wise. – Mickey Rourke

Category:
Anger

His voice was as intimate as the rustle of sheets. – Dorothy Parker

Category:
People

Men are probably nearer the central truth in their superstitions than in their science. – Henry David Thoreau

Category:
Philosophical