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Quote by Demetri Martin
I wrapped my Christmas presents early this year, but I used the wr

I wrapped my Christmas presents early this year, but I used the wrong paper. See, the paper I used said Happy Birthday on it. I didnt want to waste it so I just wrote Jesus on it. – Demetri Martin

Other quotes by Demetri Martin

The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly. – Demetri Martin

Category:
funny
Author
Demetri Martin
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I like to use I Cant Believe its Not Butter on my toast in the morning, because sometimes when I eat breakfast, I like to be incredulous. How was breakfast? Unbelievable. – Demetri Martin

Category:
Food
Author
Demetri Martin
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Stand up is really fun because if I think of a joke or a funny idea, then I can just go and tell some people and if they laugh, they laugh right away. – Demetri Martin

Category:
funny
Author
Demetri Martin
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Other Quotes from
Birthday
category

A gift consists not in what is done or given, but in the intention of the giver or doer. – Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Category:
Birthday

Just hit my 75th birthday, Im feeling great! – Colin Powell

Category:
Birthday

We didnt have a whole lot of money when I was growing up either. I would always ask for magic books or magic tricks for my birthday or for Christmas and the rest of the year I either had to mow lawns or find part time jobs to help supplement the cost of doing magic. – Lance Burton

Category:
Birthday

When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it. – Mark Twain

Category:
Birthday

Random Quotes

Death is the king of this world: Tis his park where he breeds life to feed him. Cries of pain are music for his banquet. – George Eliot

Category:
Death

I eat a variety of foods like vegetables, fruit and beef for protein and iron. – Sasha Cohen

Category:
Food

Fear is just your feelings asking for a hug. – Danielle Sanchez-Witzel and Michael Pennie, My Name is Earl, "South of the B

Category:
Fear

A liberal is a person who believes that water can be made to run uphill. A conservative is someone who believes everybody should pay for his water. I – Theodore White

Category:
Water