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Quote by Demetri Martin
I wrapped my Christmas presents early this year, but I used the wr

I wrapped my Christmas presents early this year, but I used the wrong paper. See, the paper I used said Happy Birthday on it. I didnt want to waste it so I just wrote Jesus on it. – Demetri Martin

Other quotes by Demetri Martin

I didnt do improv in college, I never performed, I didnt do theater either. I was in student government, I was a history major. – Demetri Martin

Category:
Government
Author
Demetri Martin
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I used to play sports. Then I realized you can buy trophies. Now I am good at everything. – Demetri Martin

Category:
good
Author
Demetri Martin
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Other Quotes from
Birthday
category

I had arranged a birthday party for him and my children, who are all Aquarians. Instead, we got married. I ran out of excuses. It was just us and my children. – Diane von Furstenberg

Category:
Birthday

Well, I started conducting kind of by accident. I wanted to give myself a special birthday present for my fortieth birthday, and I was living in San Francisco at the time and I started attending some of the concerts and then simply dropping hints. – Bobby McFerrin

Category:
Birthday

Mum loves me being famous! She is so excited and proud, as she had me so young and couldnt support me, so I am living her dream, its sweeter for both of us. Its her 40th birthday soon and Im going to buy her 40 presents. – Adele

Category:
Birthday

Only then, approaching my fortieth birthday, I made philosophy my lifes work. – Karl Jaspers

Category:
Birthday

Random Quotes

Its not so much what you learn about Mumbai, its what you learn about yourself, really. Its a funny old hippie thing, but its true as well. You find out a lot about yourself and your tolerance, and about your inclusiveness. – Danny Boyle

Category:
funny

Convictions are more dangerous enemies of truth than lies. – Friedrich Nietzsche

Category:
Certainty

I can understand people simply fleeing the mountainous effort Christmas has become… but there are always a few saving graces and finally they make up for all the bother and distress. – May Sarton

Category:
Christmas

Ridicule is a weak weapon when pointed at a strong mind; but common people are cowards and dread an empty laugh. – Martin Tupper

Category:
Ridicule