Demetri Martin's Quote - I wrapped my Christmas presents early this year, but I used the wr

Quote by Demetri Martin

I wrapped my Christmas presents early this year, but I used the wrong paper. See, the paper I used said Happy Birthday on it. I didnt want to waste it so I just wrote Jesus on it. – Demetri Martin

Other quotes by Demetri Martin

I think it would be cool if you were writing a ransom note on your computer, if the paper clip popped up and said, Looks like youre writing a ransom note. Need help? You should use more forceful language, youll get more money. – Demetri Martin

Category:

cool

Author

Demetri Martin

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I didnt do improv in college, I never performed, I didnt do theater either. I was in student government, I was a history major. – Demetri Martin

Category:

Government

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Demetri Martin

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My favorite fruit is grapes. Because with grapes, you always get another chance. Cause, you know, if you have a crappy apple or a peach, youre stuck with that crappy piece of fruit. But if you have a crappy grape, no problem – just move on to the next. Grapes: The Fruit of Hope. – Demetri Martin

Category:

Hope

Author

Demetri Martin

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Other Quotes from

Birthday

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