My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We cant decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. – Rita Rudner
Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. Thats how rich I want to be. – Rita Rudner
Some people think having large breasts makes a woman stupid. Actually, its quite the opposite: a woman having large breasts makes men stupid. – Rita Rudner
Buying something on sale is a very special feeling. In fact, the less I pay for something, the more it is worth to me. I have a dress that I paid so little for that I am afraid to wear it. I could spill something on it, and then how would I replace it for that amount of money? – Rita Rudner