My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We cant decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. – Rita Rudner
Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. – Rita Rudner
Some people think having large breasts makes a woman stupid. Actually, its quite the opposite: a woman having large breasts makes men stupid. – Rita Rudner
I love to shop after a bad relationship. I dont know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, Ill break up with someone on purpose. – Rita Rudner
Another argument, vaguer and even less persuasive, is that gay marriage somehow does harm to heterosexual marriage. I have yet to meet anyone who can explain to me what this means. In what way would allowing same-sex partners to marry diminish the marriages of heterosexual couples? – Ted Olson