I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again. – Joan Rivers
Comediennes are the lucky ones, because if youre funny, you can be 125 years old and they will still accept you. – Joan Rivers
I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was the man goes on top and the woman underneath. For three years my husband and I slept in bunk beds. – Joan Rivers
Dont follow any advice, no matter how good, until you feel as deeply in your spirit as you think in your mind that the counsel is wise. – Joan Rivers