Im Jewish. I dont work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor. – Joan Rivers
What are people going to do? Fire me? Ive been fired before. Not book me? Ive been out of work before. I dont care. – Joan Rivers
Don’t cook. Don’t clean. No man will ever make love to a woman because she waxed the linoleum – “My God, the floor’s immaculate. Lie down, you hot bitch.” – Joan Rivers
Thank God were living in a country where the skys the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television. – Joan Rivers