The first time I sang in the church choir two hundred people changed their religion. – Fred Allen
Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats, then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure. – Fred Allen
I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. – Fred Allen
My father never raised his hand to any one of his children, except in self-defense. – Fred Allen
Its funny. People often compare me to other humor essayists. Theyre usually quite nice comparisons I will accept those gladly. But I am always sort of appalled at the idea of being lumped with other, more chick-y female writers. And the truth is probably that neither comparison is accurate. – Sloane Crosley