In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first. – George Carlin
Some people see the cup as half empty. Some people see the cup as half full. I see the cup as too large. – George Carlin
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Were having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, were having a swan. You get more stuffing. – George Carlin
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Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? – George Carlin
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All the actors I respect, especially old-Hollywood actors, the reason I think so many of them have had long careers is that there is a sort of mystery about them. You dont know what they do on Friday nights when they go home from work. You have no clue. You have this sort of fantasy about them. – Kate Mara
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The doctors tell us of a physical disease called fatty degeneration of the heart… there is a moral malady—fatty degeneration of the soul; sooner or later it attacks every man, however noble his career, who puts self forward in his aims; who values fame because a personal possession. – Frank Lee Benedict, The Price She Paid, 1882
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