The great war of 1870 was not between the Germans and the French, but between beer and red wine. When the wine-flask came in contact with the beer-barrel, it was natural for the glass to be shattered. – Arthur Handly Marks, “Berlin: Its Bayonets and Its Beer” (Berlin, 1887 June 14th

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. – Author unknown, commonly attributed to Benjamin Franklin #happyhour

To prevent beer from being turned by thunder.— Having ascertained that it is perfectly good, draw off entirely in pint pots; then having collected an equal number of railway navigators, distribute accordingly. This will answer in the hottest summer. – “Advice Gratis,” The World of Wit and Humour edited by George Manville Fenn, 187