The great war of 1870 was not between the Germans and the French, but between beer and red wine. When the wine-flask came in contact with the beer-barrel, it was natural for the glass to be shattered. – Arthur Handly Marks, “Berlin: Its Bayonets and Its Beer” (Berlin, 1887 June 14th

What will the London brewers say when they hear that at Rhode Island the beer is brewed so strong, that it requires three men to blow the head off a pot of porter, and they must be tolerably long-winded? – “Yankee Progress,” The World of Wit and Humour edited by George Manville Fenn, 1

To prevent beer from being turned by thunder.— Having ascertained that it is perfectly good, draw off entirely in pint pots; then having collected an equal number of railway navigators, distribute accordingly. This will answer in the hottest summer. – “Advice Gratis,” The World of Wit and Humour edited by George Manville Fenn, 187