The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since the invention of call waiting. – Dave Barry
The only kind of seafood I trust is the fish stick, a totally featureless fish that doesnt have eyeballs or fins. – Dave Barry
Mother Nature, in her infinite wisdom, has instilled within each of us a powerful biological instinct to reproduce; this is her way of assuring that the human race, come what may, will never have any disposable income. – Dave Barry
As a child, I was more afraid of tetanus shots than, for example, Dracula. – Dave Barry