A man may be a fool and not know it, but not if he is married. – H.L. Mencken
Most wives think of their husbands as bumbling braggarts with whom they happen to be in love. – Jackie Gleason
For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the one miracle the Vatican has overlooked. – Bill Cosby, Love and Marriage
Marriage is a ghastly public confession of a strictly private intention. – Ian Hay
The marriage state, with or without the affection suitable to it, is the completest image of Heaven and Hell we are capable of receiving in this life. – Richard Steele, The Spectator
Adultery is the application of democracy to love. – Henry Louis Mencken, “Sententiae,” A Book of Burlesques, 1920
A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short. – Andre Maurois
Marriage: A legal or religious ceremony by which two persons of the opposite sex solemnly agree to harass and spy on each other for ninety-nine years, or until death do them join. – Elbert Hubbard
It is easy to mistake being ready for a wedding with being ready for marriage. – Robert Brault, rbrault.blogspot.com
When a girl marries she exchanges the attentions of many men for the inattention of one. – Helen Rowland
In the long run wives are to be paid in a peculiar coin — consideration for their feelings. As it usually turns out this is an enormous, unthinkable inflation few men will remit, or if they will, only with a sense of being overcharged. – Elizabeth Hardwick, Seduction and Betrayal, 1974
Being divorced is like being hit by a Mack truck. If you live through it, you start looking very carefully to the right and to the left. – Jean Kerr, Mary, Mary, 1960
It is not marriage that fails; it is people that fail. All that marriage does is to show people up. – Harry Emerson Fosdick
A wedding is just like a funeral except that you get to smell your own flowers. – Grace Hansen
Marriage is a feast where the grace is sometimes better than the dinner. – Charles Caleb Colton
Often the difference between a successful marriage and a mediocre one consists of leaving about three or four things a day unsaid. – Harlan Miller
God created sex. Priests created marriage. – Voltaire
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret. – Henny Youngman
Marriage is a mistake every man should make. – George Jessel
A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted. – Helen Rowland
