Quote by Demetri Martin
If you cant tell a spoon from a ladle, then youre fat! - Demetri M

If you cant tell a spoon from a ladle, then youre fat! – Demetri Martin

Other quotes by Demetri Martin

I like women, but you cant always trust them. Some of them are big liars, like this one woman I met who had a dog. I asked her her dogs name and then I asked, Does he bite? and she said, No. And I said, So how does he eat? Liar! – Demetri Martin

Category:
Trust
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Stand up is really fun because if I think of a joke or a funny idea, then I can just go and tell some people and if they laugh, they laugh right away. – Demetri Martin

Category:
funny
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I think it would be cool if you were writing a ransom note on your computer, if the paper clip popped up and said, Looks like youre writing a ransom note. Need help? You should use more forceful language, youll get more money. – Demetri Martin

Category:
cool
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Other Quotes from
funny
category

Very often, I dont make it through moments of recording because it is genuinely funny and absolutely ridiculous that a 60-year-old grown man is making these noises. – David Ogden Stiers

Category:
funny

I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they now do. – Will Rogers

Category:
funny

The things that make me angry still make me angry. George Carlin is 67, and hes still as funny as hes ever been, and hes still angry. And that makes me feel good, because I feel like if I stick around long enough, Ill still be able to work. – Denis Leary

Category:
funny

Who do I like? I am a big fan of French and Saunders – not that that they are particularly stand-up I have to say, but I think they have been great for women and they are of themselves just incredibly funny whether they are male or female. – Jo Brand

Category:
funny

Random Quotes

While civilization has been improving our houses, it has not equally improved the men who are to inhabit them. It has created palaces, but it was not so easy to create noblemen and kings. – Henry David Thoreau

Category:
Men

Faith is the heroism of the intellect. – Charles Henry Parkhurst

Category:
Faith

All is connected… no one thing can change by itself. – Paul Hawken

Category:
Change

I wake up every morning singing The Star-Spangled Banner. – Terry McAuliffe

Category:
Morning