If you cant tell a spoon from a ladle, then youre fat! – Demetri Martin
And of course I didnt make any money from stand up for years, so I had temp jobs. That was the way I made money. – Demetri Martin
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People and squirrels are very different. Most people will not argue that. But I find that there is one situation in which theyre very similar. And that is: when I am driving towards them in my car. Then theyre kind of hard to tell apart – especially if the human is kind of hairy. – Demetri Martin
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I think since I was kid people told me that they thought I was funny. – Demetri Martin
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