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Quote by Demetri Martin
If you cant tell a spoon from a ladle, then youre fat! - Demetri M

If you cant tell a spoon from a ladle, then youre fat! – Demetri Martin

Other quotes by Demetri Martin

I think it would be cool if you were writing a ransom note on your computer, if the paper clip popped up and said, Looks like youre writing a ransom note. Need help? You should use more forceful language, youll get more money. – Demetri Martin

Category:
cool
Author
Demetri Martin
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People and squirrels are very different. Most people will not argue that. But I find that there is one situation in which theyre very similar. And that is: when I am driving towards them in my car. Then theyre kind of hard to tell apart – especially if the human is kind of hairy. – Demetri Martin

Category:
car
Author
Demetri Martin
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Other Quotes from
funny
category

There have been times when I felt suicidal and I would stop my head from going in that direction of negativity because I thought thered be something Id miss that was funny in the future. If theres a chance Im going to laugh tomorrow then want to live to experience that. – Dave Navarro

Category:
funny

Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing. – Robert Benchley

Category:
funny

The history of the relationship between comedy and swimming is short indeed. Of course it is always funny when someone falls into water, but thats about it. – Arthur Smith

Category:
funny

I have an older sister named Haley and she wanted to be an actress. So I wanted to be an actress. Its really funny the way that some people dont give kids enough credit for like really being driven, and really wanting to do things so badly. – Hilary Duff

Category:
funny

Random Quotes

Im big on being positive. Im generally so positive and happy. I just always felt that I was exactly where I wanted to be. And things have continued to go in great directions. – Andy Cohen

Category:
positive

And it sends an important message to me, because I am sick to death to hear my opponent saying Republicans dont trust me. They do trust me, in landslide proportions, and theyre proving it tonight. Were going to bury that for good. – Ben Nighthorse Campbell

Category:
Trust

A woman is as young as her knees. – Mary Quant

Category:
Body

When neither their property nor their honor is touched, the majority of men live content. – Niccolo Machiavelli

Category:
Happiness