Quote by Demetri Martin
People and squirrels are very different. Most people will not argu

People and squirrels are very different. Most people will not argue that. But I find that there is one situation in which theyre very similar. And that is: when I am driving towards them in my car. Then theyre kind of hard to tell apart – especially if the human is kind of hairy. – Demetri Martin

Other quotes by Demetri Martin

The comedians I liked were Bill Cosby and Steven Wright, like just always as a comedic actor. I always liked Gary Larson, whos really funny for a cartoonist, obviously. – Demetri Martin

Category:
funny
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I like women, but you cant always trust them. Some of them are big liars, like this one woman I met who had a dog. I asked her her dogs name and then I asked, Does he bite? and she said, No. And I said, So how does he eat? Liar! – Demetri Martin

Category:
Trust
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Stand-up is like a row boat: its fun and romantic when youre choosing to do it. But if you have no other choice than to be in a row boat its not as enjoyable thats survival. – Demetri Martin

Category:
Romantic
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Other Quotes from
car
category

My very best friend died in a car accident when I was 16 years old. That was the hardest blow emotionally that I have ever had to endure. Suddenly, you realize tomorrow might not come. Now I live by the motto, Today is what I have. – Amber Heard

Category:
car

Being an actress is similar to trying to fit in with the popular kids in high school. Youre expected to drive the right car, wear the right clothes and say the right things. – Lauren Ambrose

Category:
car

You must do as your people do. If my people are poor, I must be poor. People ask me, Why dont you find a personal coach or a private car? I cant. Then I wont be part of my people. – Haile Gebrselassie

Category:
car

People would say you look weak if youre not cursing the opposition and driving around in a big black car while always wearing a tie. Above all, to be strong youre always supposed to be giving orders. – Georgios A. Papandreou

Category:
car

Random Quotes

The motto of chivalry is also the motto of wisdom to serve all, but love only one. – Honore de Balzac

Category:
Love

The minute you try to talk business with him he takes the attitude that he is a gentleman and a scholar, and the moment you try to approach him on the level of his moral integrity he starts to talk business. – Raymond Chandler

Category:
Attitude

Politics is the art of the possible. – Otto von Bismarck

Category:
Politics

If he who does not know kept silent, discord would cease. – Socrates

Category:
Silence