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Quote by Demetri Martin
People and squirrels are very different. Most people will not argu

People and squirrels are very different. Most people will not argue that. But I find that there is one situation in which theyre very similar. And that is: when I am driving towards them in my car. Then theyre kind of hard to tell apart – especially if the human is kind of hairy. – Demetri Martin

Other quotes by Demetri Martin

I think it would be cool if you were writing a ransom note on your computer, if the paper clip popped up and said, Looks like youre writing a ransom note. Need help? You should use more forceful language, youll get more money. – Demetri Martin

Category:
cool
Author
Demetri Martin
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The comedians I liked were Bill Cosby and Steven Wright, like just always as a comedic actor. I always liked Gary Larson, whos really funny for a cartoonist, obviously. – Demetri Martin

Category:
funny
Author
Demetri Martin
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I like to use I Cant Believe its Not Butter on my toast in the morning, because sometimes when I eat breakfast, I like to be incredulous. How was breakfast? Unbelievable. – Demetri Martin

Category:
Food
Author
Demetri Martin
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Other Quotes from
car
category

Every little kid has always wanted to be a race car driver. This gets some of that out. – David Alan Grier

Category:
car

Austin sounds a little bit like Aston Martin, which is the type of car James Bond would drive. – Mike Myers

Category:
car

The only way people are going to change their car buying habits, and the only way government will get behind alternatively fueled vehicles, is if gasoline prices continue to go up. – Alexandra Paul

Category:
car

I wanted to be a mechanic. When I was 14 I wanted to quit school and go work on my car. But my dad said Son, you shouldnt do that. You should stay in school until your education is finished, and when youre done, dont make your hobby your job. – Eric Bana

Category:
car

Random Quotes

Well… Actually I got picked because I was the only one who fit the wedding gown – they had my size. – Kevin McDonald

Category:
wedding

Thank you power is writing down the moments that are good in your life so that you can go back and reflect on them – so youve got this sort of repository of good stuff in your past. – Deborah Norville

Category:
power

When the solution is simple, God is answering. – Albert Einstein

Category:
God

People may say I developed an iron will, but what really happened is that I made myself much fitter. I think an iron will is always supported by fitness. – Ivan Lendl

Category:
fitness