Quote by Demetri Martin
People and squirrels are very different. Most people will not argu

People and squirrels are very different. Most people will not argue that. But I find that there is one situation in which theyre very similar. And that is: when I am driving towards them in my car. Then theyre kind of hard to tell apart – especially if the human is kind of hairy. – Demetri Martin

Other quotes by Demetri Martin

And of course I didnt make any money from stand up for years, so I had temp jobs. That was the way I made money. – Demetri Martin

Category:
Money
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I think that when you get dressed in the morning, sometimes youre really making a decision about your behavior for the day. Like if you put on flipflops, youre saying: Hope I dont get chased today. Be nice to people in sneakers. – Demetri Martin

Category:
Hope
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I wrapped my Christmas presents early this year, but I used the wrong paper. See, the paper I used said Happy Birthday on it. I didnt want to waste it so I just wrote Jesus on it. – Demetri Martin

Category:
Birthday
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Other Quotes from
car
category

I did a twenty foot print and John Cage is involved in that because he was the only person I knew in New York who had a car and who would be willing to do this. – Robert Rauschenberg

Category:
car

Ive tried everything other than jumping out of a plane, but nothing gives you an adrenaline rush like racing a car. – Nigel Mansell

Category:
car

Have you ever noticed how nice people are at the car wash?! Maybe its just me, but it makes me happy. Weird, I know! – Brittany Snow

Category:
car

Have you heard about the Irishman who reversed into a car boot sale and sold the engine? – Frank Carson

Category:
car

Random Quotes

Sisters never quite forgive each other for what happened when they were five. – Pam Brown

Category:
Sisters

The term clinical depression finds its way into too many conversations these days. One has a sense that a catastrophe has occurred in the psychic landscape. – Leonard Cohen

Category:
Depression

The style of ancient Egyptian art is transcendently clear, something 8-year-olds can recognize in an instant. Its consistency and codification is one of the most epic visual journeys in all art, one that lasts 30 dynasties spread over 3,000 years. – Jerry Saltz

Category:
Art

You can work really hard, but if youre not training in the right way youre not going to improve and get to the level that you want to. – Michael Chang

Category:
work