Quote by Demetri Martin
People and squirrels are very different. Most people will not argu

People and squirrels are very different. Most people will not argue that. But I find that there is one situation in which theyre very similar. And that is: when I am driving towards them in my car. Then theyre kind of hard to tell apart – especially if the human is kind of hairy. – Demetri Martin

Other quotes by Demetri Martin

For example, I was a White House intern the summer before I dropped out of law school. Everybody knew about it. Id come home and go to church and everybody would say, Oh, my God. Demetri, youre working at the White House. – Demetri Martin

Category:
Home
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I like to use I Cant Believe its Not Butter on my toast in the morning, because sometimes when I eat breakfast, I like to be incredulous. How was breakfast? Unbelievable. – Demetri Martin

Category:
Food
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The comedians I liked were Bill Cosby and Steven Wright, like just always as a comedic actor. I always liked Gary Larson, whos really funny for a cartoonist, obviously. – Demetri Martin

Category:
funny
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Other Quotes from
car
category

One morning, about four oclock, I was driving my car just about as fast as I could. I thought, Why am I out this time of night? I was miserable, and it came to me: Im falling in love with somebody I have no right to fall in love with. – June Carter Cash

Category:
car

I dont want a flashy car, just something that would allow me to stop using the Tube. And it would be good not to have to rely on my mum all the time, particularly when I have to listen to her singing in her car. – Andy Murray

Category:
car

When youre doing a TV show, its not like you just shoot for six weeks and youre in an editing room with all of your footage. Its like a guitar or a car, you have to fine tune things. You stop doing whats not working, you work on what is working and you add things that do work. – Chris Pratt

Category:
car

In Paris, one is always reminded of being a foreigner. If you park your car wrong, it is not the fact that its on the sidewalk that matters, but the fact that you speak with an accent. – Roman Polanski

Category:
car

Random Quotes

My parents have always been cool. They even became surrogates to friends of mine who didnt have such supportive parents. – Olivia Williams

Category:
cool

I dont think I even knew how big we were at the time. It was mad. I gained a lot through East 17 and Im grateful for being able to have that experience. – Brian Harvey

Category:
Experience

Im not trying to keep up or adapt. Im allowing myself to grow, evolve and create new music. – LL Cool J

Category:
Music

The first requisite of a good citizen in this republic of ours is that he shall be able and willing to pull his own weight. – Theodore Roosevelt

Category:
good