Quote by Demetri Martin
People and squirrels are very different. Most people will not argu

People and squirrels are very different. Most people will not argue that. But I find that there is one situation in which theyre very similar. And that is: when I am driving towards them in my car. Then theyre kind of hard to tell apart – especially if the human is kind of hairy. – Demetri Martin

Other quotes by Demetri Martin

Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner and a loser at the same time. – Demetri Martin

Category:
Time
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Stand up is really fun because if I think of a joke or a funny idea, then I can just go and tell some people and if they laugh, they laugh right away. – Demetri Martin

Category:
funny
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Other Quotes from
car
category

I am really looking forward to driving another of my father?s car at the show in Rotterdam. – Nelson Piquet

Category:
car

I know a lot about cars, man. I can look at any cars headlights and tell you exactly which way its coming. – Mitch Hedberg

Category:
car

When it comes to cars, only two varieties of people are possible – cowards and fools. – Russell Baker

Category:
car

I remember when metal was something you really had to search out, and now I hear it on car commercials. – Trevor Dunn

Category:
car

Random Quotes

Its sin and not poverty that makes men miserable. – Scottish Proverb

Category:
Sin

Men give away nothing so liberally as their advice. – Francois de La Rochefoucauld

Category:
Men

I honor health as the first muse, and sleep as the condition of health. Sleep benefits mainly by the sound health it produces; incidentally also by dreams, into whose farrago a divine lesson is sometimes slipped. – Ralph Waldo Emerson, Letters and Social Aims, “Inspiration”

Category:
Dreams

The ideal beauty is a fugitive which is never found. – Joan Rivers

Category:
Beauty