Brandy, n. A cordial composed of one part thunder-and-lightning, one part remorse, two parts bloody murder, one part death-hell-and-the-grave and four parts clarified Satan. – Ambrose Bierce
Sabbath – a weekly festival having its origin in the fact that God made the world in six days and was arrested on the seventh. – Ambrose Bierce
Lawsuit: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. – Ambrose Bierce
Admiration; is our polite recognition of anothers resemblance to ourselves. – Ambrose Bierce
The lips of the wise are as the doors of a cabinet; no sooner are they opened, but treasures are poured out before thee. Like unto trees of gold arranged in beds of silver, are wise sentences uttered in due season. – The Economy of Human Life, Translated from an Indian Manuscript, Written by an A