Never comment on a womans rear end. Never use the words large or size with rear end. Never. Avoid the area altogether. Trust me. – Tim Allen
Im an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive. – Tim Allen
I was gone so much in my first marriage. I love the moments when I engage with my youngest daughter now. Its not my thing to sit on the ground and play tea party, but Ill do it because its a moment that will stick with me forever. – Tim Allen
Men are liars. Well lie about lying if we have to. Im an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive. – Tim Allen
In my experience, its all wonderful with girls until about 16. Around that time, boys kind of calm down and start focusing their testosterone. Girls get a little challenging, especially for fathers. – Tim Allen
I think women like Ferraris. A Ferrari is everybodys car. – Tim Allen
Dad needs to show an incredible amount of respect and humor and friendship toward his mate so the kids understand their parents are sexy, theyre fun, they do things together, theyre best friends. Kids learn by example. If I respect Mom, theyre going to respect Mom. – Tim Allen
Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon. – Tim Allen
In marriage, compromise nurtures the relationship. – Tim Allen
My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance. – Tim Allen
