Never comment on a womans rear end. Never use the words large or size with rear end. Never. Avoid the area altogether. Trust me. – Tim Allen
Men are liars. Well lie about lying if we have to. Im an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive. – Tim Allen
Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon. – Tim Allen
I was gone so much in my first marriage. I love the moments when I engage with my youngest daughter now. Its not my thing to sit on the ground and play tea party, but Ill do it because its a moment that will stick with me forever. – Tim Allen