My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance. – Tim Allen
I was gone so much in my first marriage. I love the moments when I engage with my youngest daughter now. Its not my thing to sit on the ground and play tea party, but Ill do it because its a moment that will stick with me forever. – Tim Allen
Men are liars. Well lie about lying if we have to. Im an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive. – Tim Allen
Since September 11, security has been increased everywhere, and we have new IDs to get on to the Fox lot. I drove to the security gate, but realized Id left my ID in my other car. I just broke into that voice – Hey, man, Im Bart Simpson. Who else sounds like this? The guard waved me through. – Nancy Cartwright