If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it? – Steven Wright
Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish. – Steven Wright
If God dropped acid, would he see people? – Steven Wright
I named my dog Stay so I can say, “Come here, Stay. Come here, Stay.” – Steven Wright
I intend to live forever. So far, so good. – Steven Wright
I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering. – Steven Wright
