I intend to live forever. So far, so good. – Steven Wright
I have an answering machine in my car. It says, Im home now. But leave a message and Ill call when Im out. – Steven Wright

I intend to live forever. So far, so good. – Steven Wright
I have an answering machine in my car. It says, Im home now. But leave a message and Ill call when Im out. – Steven Wright
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do all the rest have to drown too? – Steven Wright
I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything. – Steven Wright
To be clear, climate change is a true 800 pound gorilla in the room. The effects of global warming threaten global environmental upheaval over the coming century. But for South Florida and the Everglades, it could be our death knell if urgent action is not taken. – Debbie Wasserman Schultz