I intend to live forever. So far, so good. – Steven Wright
For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier… I put them in the same room and let them fight it out. – Steven Wright

I intend to live forever. So far, so good. – Steven Wright
For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier… I put them in the same room and let them fight it out. – Steven Wright
I went to a restaurant that serves “breakfast anytime.” So I ordered French toast during the Renaissance. – Steven Wright
My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. Its in the apartment somewhere. – Steven Wright