I intend to live forever. So far, so good. – Steven Wright
When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, Did you sleep good? I said No, I made a few mistakes. – Steven Wright
I intend to live forever. So far, so good. – Steven Wright
When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, Did you sleep good? I said No, I made a few mistakes. – Steven Wright
For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier… I put them in the same room and let them fight it out. – Steven Wright
I bought some instant water one time but I didnt know what to add to it. – Steven Wright
What Id really like to write is a romantic comedy. This is my favorite kind of movie. I feel almost embarrassed revealing this, because the genre has been so degraded in the past twenty years that saying you like romantic comedies is essentially an admission of mild stupidity. – Mindy Kaling