I intend to live forever. So far, so good. – Steven Wright
There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators. – Steven Wright

I intend to live forever. So far, so good. – Steven Wright
There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators. – Steven Wright
I named my dog Stay so I can say, “Come here, Stay. Come here, Stay.” – Steven Wright
I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldnt park anywhere near the place. – Steven Wright