I went to a restaurant that serves “breakfast anytime.” So I ordered French toast during the Renaissance. – Steven Wright
I have an answering machine in my car. It says, Im home now. But leave a message and Ill call when Im out. – Steven Wright
I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing Happy Birthday. – Steven Wright
Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish. – Steven Wright
We must pay greater attention to keeping our bodies and minds healthy and able to heal. Yet we are making it difficult for our defences to work. We allow things to be sold that should not be called food. Many have no nutritive value and lead to obesity, salt imbalance, and allergies. – David Suzuki