I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering. – Steven Wright
I want to get a tattoo of myself on my entire body, only two inches taller. – Steven Wright

I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering. – Steven Wright
I want to get a tattoo of myself on my entire body, only two inches taller. – Steven Wright
When I have a kid, I want to put him in one of those strollers for twins, then run around the mall looking frantic. – Steven Wright
I went to a restaurant that serves breakfast at any time. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance. – Steven Wright