If Scotland and America go to war, Im afraid Ive already sworn in. – Craig Ferguson
I think Im just someone that just tries to get by. Im kind of – if it was during the Second World War, Id be a black marketeer, I think. – Craig Ferguson
I dropped out of high school when I was 16, after I had a huge argument with my English teacher over the meaning of the word existentialism. – Craig Ferguson
I am reasonably happy. I didnt find Jesus or anything like that. Part of it is that I just feel that I could go home. I did not feel like that for a long time, but I could go back now. – Craig Ferguson
Ive started looking at my own father a bit funny. He assures me, though, that I really am the son of a Scottish postman. – Craig Ferguson
I dont know now if Im funny. I just keep talking and hope that I hit something thats funny. – Craig Ferguson
Its not that we fly by the seat of our pants. Were not afraid of failure. – Craig Ferguson
Its like, its kind of like if you ever had a car and it was a bit of a clunker but you love it, thats my show. Its a bit of a clunker but I know where everything is and I like it. – Craig Ferguson
Its the beauty and curse of doing a daily show. Some days youve got nothing to talk about and other days Dick Cheney shoots his lawyer in the face and everyone is happy. – Craig Ferguson
I think that clearly it has an influence, to be coming of age during the punk rock era, to come from a difficult and sporadically violent background, to have been in and out of such chaos, I think it actually helps. But I dont know for sure. – Craig Ferguson
The wedding took place in Vermont, where they have legalized gay civil unions, and I married a woman. – Craig Ferguson
I realized women and humor were linked very closely. – Craig Ferguson
I hope what I do has an art to it, and as an artist you have to try new things and keep yourself entertained. – Craig Ferguson
Why do people do things that they fear? It may be that the fear contains information. Something can be interesting if you get to the other side of that fear. – Craig Ferguson
