If Scotland and America go to war, Im afraid Ive already sworn in. – Craig Ferguson
I am reasonably happy. I didnt find Jesus or anything like that. Part of it is that I just feel that I could go home. I did not feel like that for a long time, but I could go back now. – Craig Ferguson
Why do people do things that they fear? It may be that the fear contains information. Something can be interesting if you get to the other side of that fear. – Craig Ferguson
I dont know now if Im funny. I just keep talking and hope that I hit something thats funny. – Craig Ferguson
Ants are so much like human beings as to be an embarrassment. They farm fungi, raise aphids as livestock, launch armies into war, use chemical sprays to alarm and confuse enemies, capture slaves, engage in child labour, exchange information ceaselessly. They do everything but watch television. – Lewis Thomas