Ive always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives. – Billy Connolly
Heckling is an act of cowardice. If you want to speak, get up in front of the microphone and speak, dont sit in the dark hiding. Its easy to hide and shout and waste peoples time. – Billy Connolly
My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of the Lone Ranger. – Billy Connolly
Never trust a man, who when left alone with a tea cosey… Doesnt try it on. – Billy Connolly
When I was a kid I didnt feel like I fit in because – this is really silly and I probably shouldnt say it, but, I didnt think anything was funny. So I used to go home and literally cry to my mom and my step-dad at the time and I didnt think anything was funny. I couldnt laugh. – Courteney Cox