My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of the Lone Ranger. – Billy Connolly
Ive always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives. – Billy Connolly
My parents used to take me to the pet department and tell me it was a zoo. – Billy Connolly
Heckling is an act of cowardice. If you want to speak, get up in front of the microphone and speak, dont sit in the dark hiding. Its easy to hide and shout and waste peoples time. – Billy Connolly