To an adolescent, there is nothing in the world more embarrassing than a parent. – Dave Barry
A Mission Statement is a dense slab of words that a large organization produces when it needs to establish that its workers are not just sitting around downloading Internet porn. – Dave Barry
I have always dressed according to certain Basic Guy Fashion Rules, Including: Both of your socks should always be the same color, Or they should at least both be fairly dark. – Dave Barry
Scientists tell us that the fastest animal on earth, with a top speed of 120 feet per second, is a cow that has been dropped out of a helicopter. – Dave Barry