To an adolescent, there is nothing in the world more embarrassing than a parent. – Dave Barry
Guys are simple… women are not simple and they always assume that men must be just as complicated as they are, only way more mysterious. The whole point is guys are not thinking much. They are just what they appear to be. Tragically. – Dave Barry
The problem with winter sports is that – follow me closely here – they generally take place in winter. – Dave Barry
Although Golf was originally restricted to wealthy Protestants, today its open to anybody who owns hideous clothing. – Dave Barry
Nevertheless the passions, whether violent or not, should never be so expressed as to reach the point of causing disgust and music, even in situations of the greatest horror, should never be painful to the ear but should flatter and charm it, and thereby always remain music. – Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart