Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling. – Dave Barry
The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious people, and then they come after you with machetes. – Dave Barry
The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion or ethnic background, is that we all believe we are above-average drivers. – Dave Barry
The best baby-sitters, of course, are the baby’s grandparents. You feel completely comfortable entrusting your baby to them for long periods, which is why most grandparents flee to Florida. – Dave Barry