I went to a restaurant that serves breakfast at any time. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance. – Steven Wright
When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, Did you sleep good? I said No, I made a few mistakes. – Steven Wright
Babies dont need a vacation, but I still see them at the beach… it pisses me off! Ill go over to a little baby and say What are you doing here? You havent worked a day in your life! – Steven Wright
I play the harmonica. The only way I can play is if I get my car going really fast, and stick it out the window. – Steven Wright
As children, as we learn what things are, we are slowly learning to dismiss them visually. As adults, entirely submerged in words and concepts, we spend almost all of our time thinking and worrying about the past and the future, hardly ever looking at or engaging with the world visually. – Chris Ware