When I die, Im leaving my body to science fiction. – Steven Wright
I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing Happy Birthday. – Steven Wright

When I die, Im leaving my body to science fiction. – Steven Wright
I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing Happy Birthday. – Steven Wright
I play the harmonica. The only way I can play is if I get my car going really fast, and stick it out the window. – Steven Wright
I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like Im the only one moving. – Steven Wright