When I die, Im leaving my body to science fiction. – Steven Wright
I had to stop driving my car for a while… the tires got dizzy. – Steven Wright

When I die, Im leaving my body to science fiction. – Steven Wright
I had to stop driving my car for a while… the tires got dizzy. – Steven Wright
I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and Im gone. – Steven Wright
I play the harmonica. The only way I can play is if I get my car going really fast, and stick it out the window. – Steven Wright