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Quote by Steven Wright
I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in t

I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time. – Steven Wright

Other quotes by Steven Wright

When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, Did you sleep good? I said No, I made a few mistakes. – Steven Wright

Category:
good
Author
Steven Wright
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Other Quotes from
Time
category

I want to go ahead of Father Time with a scythe of my own. – H. G. Wells

Category:
Time

Never bear more than one kind of trouble at a time. Some people bear three kinds of trouble – the ones theyve had, the ones they have, and the ones they expect to have. – Edward Everett Hale

Category:
Time

At least the Pilgrim Fathers used to shoot Indians: the Pilgrim Children merely punch time clocks. – e. e. cummings

Category:
Time

I feel there are two people inside me – me and my intuition. If I go against her, shell screw me every time, and if I follow her, we get along quite nicely. – Kim Basinger

Category:
Time

Random Quotes

Im leaving the screen because I dont think I am very good in the pictures and I have this beautiful dream that Im elegant on the stage. – Helen Hayes

Category:
good

I bought a talking refrigerator that said “Oink” every time I opened the door. It made me hungry for pork chops. – Marie Mott

Category:
Dieting

Yes, my grandfather worked with Thomas Edison on the electric car, and he sold electric cars at the 1900 Worlds Fair in Paris. – Al Jardine

Category:
car

For I have learned to look on nature, not as in the hour of thoughtless youth, but hearing oftentimes the still, sad music of humanity. – William Wordsworth

Category:
Music