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Quote by Steven Wright
I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in t

I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time. – Steven Wright

Other quotes by Steven Wright

I went to a restaurant that serves “breakfast anytime.” So I ordered French toast during the Renaissance. – Steven Wright

Category:
Food
Author
Steven Wright
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I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like Im the only one moving. – Steven Wright

Category:
car
Author
Steven Wright
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I bought some instant water one time but I didnt know what to add to it. – Steven Wright

Category:
Time
Author
Steven Wright
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Other Quotes from
Time
category

What you lack in talent can be made up with desire, hustle and giving 110 percent all the time. – Don Zimmer

Category:
Time

The first time that I performed as an actor was the first day on the set of The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. – Will Smith

Category:
Time

How can anybody hate nurses? Nobody hates nurses. The only time you hate a nurse is when theyre giving you an enema. – Warren Beatty

Category:
Time

Winners take time to relish their work, knowing that scaling the mountain is what makes the view from the top so exhilarating. – Denis Waitley

Category:
Time

Random Quotes

Perfect courage is to do without witnesses what one would be capable of doing with the world looking on. – Francois de La Rochefoucauld

Category:
Courage

Pornography is literature designed to be read with one hand. – Angela Lambert

Category:
Pornography

Despite what anti-aging ads say, growing older can be better. I feel better in my skin, 100 percent. You have greater effects of gravity, but the better sense of yourself you have is something I wouldnt trade. Women who lie about their age – why? – Demi Moore

Category:
Age

What the country needs is dirtier fingernails and cleaner minds. – Will Rogers

Category:
Labor