I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time. – Steven Wright
Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time. – Steven Wright

I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time. – Steven Wright
Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time. – Steven Wright
I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like Im the only one moving. – Steven Wright
When I have a kid, I want to put him in one of those strollers for twins, then run around the mall looking frantic. – Steven Wright