Quote by Steven Wright
I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in t

I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time. – Steven Wright

Other quotes by Steven Wright

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like Im the only one moving. – Steven Wright

Category:
car
Read Quote

When I have a kid, I want to put him in one of those strollers for twins, then run around the mall looking frantic. – Steven Wright

Category:
Twins
Read Quote
Other Quotes from
Time
category

To be always intending to make a new and better life but never to find time to set about it is as to put off eating and drinking and sleeping from one day to the next until youre dead. – Og Mandino

Category:
Time

Seek always to do some good, somewhere. Every man has to seek in his own way to realize his true worth. You must give some time to your fellow man. For remember, you dont live in a world all your own. Your brothers are here too. – Albert Schweitzer

Category:
Time

The last time I saw him he was walking down lovers lane holding his own hand. – Fred Allen

Category:
Time

Time, the cradle of hope…. Wisdom walks before it, opportunity with it, and repentance behind it: he that has made it his friend will have little to fear from his enemies, but he that has made it his enemy will have little to hope from his friends. – Charles Caleb Colton

Category:
Time

Random Quotes

Some of the greatest survivors have been women. Look at the courage so many women have shown after surviving earthquakes in the rubble for days on end. – Bear Grylls

Category:
Courage

The catalogue of forms is endless: until every shape has found its city, new cities will continue to be born. When the forms exhaust their variety and come apart, the end of cities begins. – Italo Calvino

The Left is doing to America what it has done to almost everything it has deeply influenced – the arts, the university, religion, culture, minorities, Europe: ruining it. – Dennis Prager

Category:
Religion

Poverty is not a shame, but the being ashamed of it is. – English Proverb

Category:
Poverty