Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they? – George Carlin
At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. – George Carlin
When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to do it by gas lamp or candle. Im sure it made the work seem that much more urgent. – George Carlin
The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but Im just not close enough to get the job done. – George Carlin