The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but Im just not close enough to get the job done. – George Carlin
Were having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, were having a swan. You get more stuffing. – George Carlin
If crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? – George Carlin
Im completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death. – George Carlin
My greatest fear is feeling like a professional novelist. Somebody who creates characters, who sits down and has pieces of paper taped to the wall – whats going to happen in this scene, or this act. What I like is for it to be a much more scary, sloppy reflection of who I am. – Jonathan Safran Foer