If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it? – Steven Wright
I think Gods going to come down and pull civilization over for speeding. – Steven Wright
When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, Did you sleep good? I said No, I made a few mistakes. – Steven Wright
I think its been hard for people to understand how Islam can be a good religion, and yet the Islamists are evil. Those of us who have had experience with Islam understand this, just as we understand the difference between snake handlers and people going to church on Sunday morning. – P. J. ORourke