This man used to go to school with his dog. Then they were separated. His dog graduated! – Henny Youngman
Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays. – Henny Youngman
Ive got all the money Ill ever need, if I die by four oclock. – Henny Youngman
Ive been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, shell kill me. – Henny Youngman
In what bold relief stand out the lives of all walkers of the snow! The snow is a great tell-tale, and blabs as effectually as it obliterates. I go into the woods, and know all that has happened. I cross the fields, and if only a mouse has visited his neighbor, the fact is chronicled. – John Burroughs, “The Snow-Walkers,” 1866