I think that when you get dressed in the morning, sometimes youre really making a decision about your behavior for the day. Like if you put on flipflops, youre saying: Hope I dont get chased today. Be nice to people in sneakers. – Demetri Martin
I wrapped my Christmas presents early this year, but I used the wrong paper. See, the paper I used said Happy Birthday on it. I didnt want to waste it so I just wrote Jesus on it. – Demetri Martin
If I have to move up in a building, I choose the elevator over the escalator. Because one time I was riding the escalator and I tripped. I fell down the stairs for an hour and a half. – Demetri Martin
Before I do a play I say that I hope its going to be for as short a time as possible but, once you do it, it is a paradoxical pleasure. One evening out of two there are five minutes of a miracle and for those five minutes you want to do it again and again. Its like a drug. – Isabelle Huppert
I hope that Facebook and other Internet technologies were able to help people, just like we hope that we help them communicate and organize and do whatever they want to every single day, but I dont pretend that if Facebook didnt exist, that this wouldnt even be possible. Of course, it would have. – Mark Zuckerberg